Morris

My wife and I often discuss the pisspoor nature of much contemporary media, especially the endless permutations spun from cop and doc tv shows and dismal sitcoms. Particularly risible are the attempts to combine them with popular topics such as gardening, food and property. It would appear - and I could be wrong here as I don't usually watch more than a couple of hours of tv a day - that while we have had chef detectives and gardening detectives we have not yet had an interior designer detective.

May I propose 'Morris' a six-part BBC Sunday night series in which interior designer, writer, poet and political firebrand William Morris finds time in his workaholic schedule to solve crimes and bring the perpetrators to justice. Not only do we have an influential interior designer as a sleuth, we have the added nostalgia value of the Victorian era that keeps the BBC costume department so busy. In one episode he could perhaps clear his friend Dante Gabriel Rossetti of the murder of a young model, or uncover the police killing of an innocent individual at a political demonstration; he could even pursue Jack the Ripper through the foggy streets of old Whitechapel. Maybe Colin Firth could don the beard and whiskers for the part, although Nick Frost probably has the more realistic figure. Damn it, I must start writing this now...if anyone else fancies doing it just remember to credit me with the original idea. If successful it could also be combined with that other sure fire hit Strictly Come Dancing for Strictly Come Morris Dancing.